btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize