he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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