Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize