We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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