K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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