So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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