I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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