You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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