I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize