I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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