I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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