My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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