I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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