Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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