The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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