separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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