No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize