i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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