you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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