I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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