Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
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I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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