11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
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she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my liver is dry heaving
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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