I got chris browned last night
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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