so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
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Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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