he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize