She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
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I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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