yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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