Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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