And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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