As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize