we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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