i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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