we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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