i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize