You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ladies don't puke and tell
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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