you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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