I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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