i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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