If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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