I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize