i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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