You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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