I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
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you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
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I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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