Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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