You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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