he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
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I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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