Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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