worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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