I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize