my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize